What I Did This Summer, by The Dog

OK, so I wrote this thing, which was, like, supposed to have been written by, like, a dog? For a canine newsletter at a, like, a dog boarding facility?

Well I totally got the idea, right, cause I fully went to a boarding facility. Except, we like, called it a boarding school, but it's all good? It is what it is? Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera?

What I Did This Summer

By Rexford "Rex" Threadwell, fifth form, Labrador House

Seems like only yesterday we were all burying bones for the AP Geology finals, and now the whole summer's rushed by. So where did the time go?

There was a lot of sleeping, and a whole bunch of running, and I know I did some serious drooling in July -- hot hot hot! (Sometimes I wish I were a yellow Labrador instead of a black one -- it's always so freakin' hot inside my fur!) The rest of the time, I did the usual backyard patrols, kept the pond duck-free, broke in a few new docksiders, and generally romped. On the downside, I had an incident with some bees, but I gave as good as I got, and I don't think we'll be hearing from those guys again. The scars will be awesome when the swelling goes down.

Definite highlights: Going down the Shore with the family for a whole week, Moose and me digging out under the fence on July 4, the night the steak "fell off" the grill, and the three times I treed the neighbors' cat. Oh, and the two weeks of Summer School, of course -- we did some awesome sniffing and digging at the Academy. There's no better place to check P-mail and hang with my dogs!

But now I'm back and ready for classes again, especially Mr. Rott's Intermediate Lunging and Snarling. Even if I do look like a doofus when I try it, it's still a blast! Fully gangsta! I'm really up for Mr. Bull's Advanced Saliva Workshop, especially the sessions on Shapes and Viscosity. And I hope I get into Mrs. Basset's Senior Sniffing Seminar; in case anybody remembers, it was me who found that lost puppy last year and got my picture in the local paper and all.

So here's to Back to Stool -- er, School, and I'm looking forward to sniffing under everyone's tail!